1013 My duty
How do I know?
What is my need?
You alone know about it
As you know my condition
I know
Only one thing
Whatever you give
I have to accept it
I remained like a child
Which does not know its need?
Like a mother
You came and provided that to me
After receiving it
I realized the truth
I understood
Your grace
From that day
Till this time
I lived
Under your shadow
For that compassion
To continue
I won’t leave
Your feet ever
Once I take refuge
In your shadow
I don’t know
What actually my need is?
Till this day
There is no shortage
Therefore I never
Realized my need
Whichever might be?
My need hear after
Why should I
Worry about it?
Accepting which you give
Living with satisfaction
Abiding in you
Is my duty.
Mathigiri, 17-11-2018, 11.45 p.m.
After my regular reading I was overwhelmed to convey my reflection on the subject. Though authors like Prof. Arvind Sharma presents their fact with authentic historical evidence and make one to agree with him, still I feel something thing within me which is not allowing to agree with him. Though as an Indian I am really proud about all the great things about India, still the present reality of failures in so many areas much challenges that pride. The rampant corruption, failures on ethical and moral areas, the lack of social justice, the alarming raise of abuse against women and religious fundamentalism which often challenges human rights (T.M. Krishnan’s music program was cancelled at Delhi and I had a big argument over it with one of my close relative in my family who justified it. He too once was a great fan of T.M.K but suddenly find fault with him as he is a supporter of Hindutva ideology. But I said no one has the right to take law on their own hands and we cannot violate human rights at any cost. He even accused that Krishna is helping the Christians to convert Hindus. This really shocked me as he knows well that Krishna is not doing it. By merely singing songs on other religious deities does not mean that Krishna is propagating that religion. Of course Krishna always wants to promote Carnatic music and he is right in it. I stand with T.M.K. If others have feel that Krishna is doing anything against Constitution they should go the court and not to do any violence against him or anyone).
Though I want to share my views, I find it difficult to express it properly in writing. Above all whenever I want to write anything thing negatively on any issue or any person, suddenly I feel sorry for me. My lack of perfection often comes before me when I try to write anything with which I cannot agree.
So when I was reflecting on the points which I read today in ‘The Rulers’ Gaze by Sharma, unable to convey my reflection I was overwhelmed. Then I said better for me to stop even reading too much of books. That is why I deliberately avoid all kinds of group messages now. Because when I read anything with which I cannot agree, immediately I am forced to sit and write my response, which demands too much time and energy. Now in this retirement life I am not enjoying such writings. Then closing my reflection I silently went to the Lord seeking the solution. That time I said to the Lord: what is my present need in life? You know better than me and guide me accordingly. Then I wrote this poem as that meditation.
1013 என் கடமை
என்தேவை எதுவென
எனக்கெனத் தெரியும்
எந்நிலை அறிந்தபின்
உனக்குத்தான் புரியும்
எதுதந்த போதும்
ஏற்றிட வேண்டும்
என்பது ஒன்றுதான்
எனக்குமேத் தெரியும்
தன்தேவை அறியாத
பிள்ளையாய் இருந்தேன்
தாய்போல தேடிவந்து
நீயதைத் தந்தாய்
பெற்றபின் அறிந்தேன்
உண்மை நிலையை
புரிந்துமே கொண்டேன்
உனது அருளை
அன்று தொடங்கி
இன்று வரையில்
அனுதினம் வாழ்ந்தேன்
உனது நிழலில்
அந்தக் கருணை
என்றும் தொடர
என்றும் விலகேன்
உனது அடியை
உன்நிழல் தன்னில்
ஒதுங்கிய பின்னே
தேவை எதுவெனத்
தெரியவும் இல்லை
குறைவென்ற ஒன்று
இதுவரை இல்லை
அதனால் தேவையை
அறியவும் இல்லை
இனியென் தேவை
எதுவான போதும்
எனக்கென்ன கவலை
அதுபற்றி நாளும்
தருவதை ஏற்று
நிறைவுடன் வாழ்ந்து
உன்னுள்ளே நிலைப்பதே
எனக்குள்ள கடமை
மத்திகிரி, 17-11-2018, இரவு, 11.45