- What a drama!
Remain quite Oh my mind in the inner peace
Don’t become frustrated with lots of work
Don’t you have time to talk few words?
With the Lord who comes unto you?
So many works are there
So many thoughts are accompanying with them
But have peace in the mind
Where thousands of worries are tossing you– Remain quite
How He is coming unto you with longing
He seeks time to be happy by having fellowship with you
But not allowing Him to long any more
And giving thousands of reasons for that– Remain quite
Is this time to have romantic anger? (sulking anger)
How can you justify the way you keep away from Him
When you sought Him for your need
Let Him also not go with frustration– Remain quite
Do you need my help to go between you?
In order to tell about your condition do I need to come
Not allowing a third person to come
To mediate between you– Remain quite
What else can I say more than this?
He is showing sings gently unto you
Don’t you have time to understand it?
Will you become depressed once He is gone– Remain quite
What can I do any more and it is your funeral
Is this new one; allow me to go
Don’t I know this your drama?
Should I come between you two and become a fool?
11-1-15, Gurukulam, 9.00 am.
As the whit washing was going in the ashram I was very busy with it. Though the workers helped, yet I have to move, re-arrange and dispose so many things. That not only made me tired but there was not much time for my regular work of reading and thinking. Even when I sat to pray, all the work that needs to be done further alone came to my mind. Again it is bit difficult for me to convey the thought in this poem in English.
Several times I will sit silently, particular after 11.30 on my bed. My mind will wander everywhere. At the same time I will feel that one part of my brain is witnessing the wandering of the other part of the brain (mind). Then there will be a third person that is beyond my brain something within me will comprehend these two different kinds of function of my brain. Though the Indian terms for this could be ‘man’ (मन) (heart/mind) ‘buddhi’ and ‘atman’ I am not sure in such experience my ‘atman’ using my buddhi (buddhi is not brain) is witnessing the two different functions of my brain (mind)? So in this song too, I am telling my mind to give some time to the Lord who is coming to me to have fellowship with me.
Of course in a poetical expression such dichotomy is allowed where a person can address her own mind/heart about something. But beyond this poetic expression, several times I had this experience of my atman through my buddhi witnessing the function of my brain (mind). Ok. I stop here as I cannot explain this beyond this.
In Tamil the final line in each stanza will link back with the first stanza. I don’t know how I can show this in my translation.
So when I went for my early morning walk, instead of enjoying the nature and the presence of the Lord, again I began to think and plan this day work. This bit irritated me. Then I wrote the first four lines in my mind and when I sat for my morning meditation I wrote the entire poem.
Sending an emissary to go between the estranged lovers is a common genre in Indian poetic tradition. So my atman questions my mind is it necessary for it to go in-between the lord and it. But knowing that this regular phenomenon, it chides the mind by saying that as it (atman) does not want to become a fool it leaves for the mind to work out its own way.
I wonder is there such poetic literature outside India, particularly in English?
13-1-15.
- என்ன நாடகம்
ஓய்ந்திரு மனமே உள்ளான அமைதியில்
ஓடியலையாதே அனுதின வேலையில்
நாடியே வருகின்ற உன் நாயகனிடம்
நாலுவார்த்தை பேச இல்லையா நேரம்—ஓய்ந்திரு…
என்னில்லா பணிகள் ஏராளம் உண்டே
எத்தனையோ எண்ணங்கள் அவையுடன் உண்டே
ஆயிரம் கவலைகள் மோதியே அடிக்க
அலைபாயும் மனதில் நிம்மதி கொண்டே– ஓய்ந்திரு
என்னமாய் எதிர்பார்த்து உன்னிடம் வருகிறான்
உறவாடி மகிழ்ந்திட நேரமே கேட்கிறான்
ஆயினும் ஆயிரம் காரணம் சொல்லி
அலைகழித்தே அவனை ஏங்கிட வைக்காமல்– ஓய்ந்திரு
ஊடல் கொண்டிட இதுவல்ல நேரம்
ஒதுங்கி போவது எவ்விதம் நியாயம்
உன்தேவை எண்ணி நீபோகும் போது
அவனும் சிணுங்கி விலகியே போகாது– ஓய்ந்திரு
தூதுபோக என் துணை வேண்டுமோ?
உன்நிலைச் சொல்ல நான்வர வேண்டுமோ
உங்கள் இடையே சமரசம் செய்து
அடுத்தவர் வந்து எடுத்துச் சொல்லாது– ஓய்ந்திரு
இதற்கு மேலும் நான் என்ன சொல்ல
இங்கிதம் காட்டுறன் உன்னிடம் மெல்ல
புரிந்து கொள்ள போதும் இல்லையோ
அவன் போனபின் மனம் சோர்ந்து போவாயா– ஓய்ந்திரு
இனி எனக்கென்ன உங்கள் பாடு
இது என்ன புதிதா என்னை நீ விடு
எனக்குத் தெரியாத இந்த நாடகம்
இடையே நான்வந்து ஏமாறவா வேண்டும்–ஓய்…
11-1-15, குருகுலம், காலை 9.00