1132 No chance
Unless you come
And talk with me
Where is the opportunity
For me to talk to you
Unless you
Approach me (with understanding)
Where is the need
For me to come on my own
How much more
I long for you
Can I tell my condition?
To you (openly)
Will my tongue
Take courage to tell
As you know
My condition very well
You came as
The rain
To revive the
Parched land
You came as the
Sweet spring
To quench
My thirst
This innocent one
Came unto you
As my life
Which has gone?
But my tongue
Get dried
Even my throat
Also become dried
However I have
Desire within me
Still I have
Some fear within me
My heart refuses
To take step
To lose you again
By babbling something
Until you come
And receive me
Knowing my
Condition well
Thinking about
The love that I have for you
I will wait
Looking the way
For you to know
The bhakti of this innocent one
I will come everyday
To worship your feet
Mathigiri, 29-10-2019, 11.50 p.m.
Like an infant which always depends upon the compassion of its mother, a bhakta always depends upon the grace of God. As she depends upon god it is imperative that she alone should approach god for all her needs. Interestingly according to my understanding of Muktiveda, though we depend upon god, still unless he takes initiative there is no means for us to receive his grace. It is a riddle for me. I depend upon him, but he alone should take the first step to reach me. Like an infant which can only cry to express its need so that her mother will reach it, a bhakta can only express her need waiting for god to take initiative to bestow his grace upon her.
As it is rainy season here in Tamilnadhu, I wrote this song, again in the genre of viraha bhakti. Of course when I write any song in this style, some might think that I have some psychological problem or I miss romance in my life. There is all the possibility for anyone to read or interpret my life based on such songs. But if they know me well, they will be disappointed for such analyse about my life or songs or bhakti. I always enjoy various kinds of bhakti expression and viraha-bhakti is one such. Above all we in India has ragas according to the time in a day—like morning raga, evening raga etc. we also have various kinds of songs to express the mood related not only with time but also season and even landscape, particularly in Tamilnadu called ‘tinai’.
1132 வாய்ப்பே இல்லை
நீயாக வந்து
பேசாத போது
நானுமே பேசிட
வாய்ப்புமே ஏது
நீயாக புரிந்து
நெருங்காத போது
நானாக வந்திட
தேவையும் ஏது
என்னதான் ஏக்கம்
எனக்கிருந்தாலும்
என்னிலை உன்னிடம்
சொல்லிட முடியுமா
என்னிலை அறிந்த
உனக்கதைச் சொல்ல
என்நாவும் துணிந்தும்
சொல்லிடக் கூடுமா
வறண்ட நிலமாக
வாடியே நிற்கையில்
மழைத்துளியாகி
மீட்டிட வந்தாய்
தாகத்தால் நானும்
தாவித்திட்ட போது
இனிய ஊற்றாகி
தாகத்தைத் தனித்தாய்
போன உயிரும்
மீண்டு வந்திட
பேதையும் வந்தேன்
உனக்கத்தை சொல்ல
ஆயினும் நாவு
உலர்ந்துதான் போனது
அடித்தொண்டை கூட
வரண்டுமே போனது
என்னதான் மோகம்
எனக்கிருந்தாலும்
ஏதோ பயமும்
என்னுள்ள வந்தது
ஏதேனும் உளறி
உன்னையே மீண்டும்
இழந்திட என்மனம்
துணிந்திட மறுத்தது
என்னிலை புரிந்து
நீயாக வந்து
என்னோடு பேசி
ஏற்றிடும் வரையில்
உன்மீது கொண்ட
காதலை எண்ணி
உனக்காக நானும்
வழிபார்த்து நிற்பேன்
அபலையின் பக்தியை
அறிந்திட வேண்டி
அனுதினம் உன்னடி
பணிந்திட வருவேன்
மத்திகிரி, 29-10-2019, இரவு, 11.50