1227 When you are there
When I have
A need
To whom shall I go?
And ask for it
When I don’t know
How many needs
Are there
In my life
When I frustrated
Not knowing
Which one to tell
And which one to omit
When you
Bestow the need
Which is?
The need of that hour
I understand
That I need not
Go and ask
Anything to anyone (about it)
But when I think
That you refuse
To give
One thing in particular
However I think
What it might be
As I cannot
Find the answer for that
I clearly understand that
The time has
Not yet come
To know that
When I think that
I have one need
About which
Even I don’t know
Whichever it might be
I know for sure that
Only it will be
Good one for me
Because as you
Knew me more than I know
And have
More concern about me
Which I lack
Within me
I came only
Trusting you
As you are there
For me
Why should I go?
And ask others about it?
Mathigiri, 12-8-2020, 11.50. p.m.
Compare to other elderly people both me and my mother enjoys a relatively calm and quiet life. Of course there comes small health issue, which is common to our age. However my mother is bit upset as one of her favorite TV serial will be broadcasted at 10.00 p.m. instead of 8.30 pm. Though I am happy about it, @ as I don’t want to disappoint her, I began to record it and next day for her to watch—an extra work for me. For this I am rebuked by my brother and sister that I am pampering my mother too much and spoiling her. But as keeping an active old woman is a big challenge, I have to do it. Otherwise she will sit and lament that time is not moving and will complain that I have books to read. {She too reads four books in day time a week which I bring from the library}. But overall we enjoy our retired life. Though I am thankful to the Lord, sometimes I feel that I miss something or one thing in life which even I don’t know what it is. Only the Lord knows it. So when I thank God for such a calm life, in a corner of my heart I live with the curiosity that something I miss. However though I cannot guess it and the Lord is not going to reveal, still as He knows better about me than I know about me and whatever it might be as He will keep only my welfare in His mind, I can trust and continue to live with this curiosity. Therefore I need not go and ask others for anything thing or help them to find out what that I am missing.
@In most of the TV serials in India there will be only domestic violence against women, perpetrated, again by women (in the home) in which men either will remain mute spectators or as coins like that in a chase game used by women. I wish our government should do something about it. Though I put ear plug and loud classic music in my computer and lock my room, still as my mother has hearing problem she will put high sound in TV and I will be forced to hear it—particularly when I go and prepare our dinner. One thing I hate in life is the TV serials and I wish to have a life without TV serials. They are worst than mosquito and street stray dogs in my life. The only consolation is that my mother watches only three serials and not all of them, particularly in day time also.
1227 நீ இருக்கையில்
எனக்கொரு தேவை
என்றிடும் போது
எவரிடம் சென்று
நானுமே கேட்பது
எத்தனைத் தேவைகள்
உள்ளன என்று
எனக்குமே சரியாகத்
தெரியாத போது
எதைச் சொல்ல
எதை விட
என்றுமேத் தெரியாது
தவித்திடும் போது
அந்தந்த நேரம்
வந்திடும் தேவைகள்
அறிந்துமே நீயும்
தந்திடும் போது
எவரிடம் சென்று
ஏதுமே கேட்கத்
தேவையே இல்லை
என்பது புரியுது
ஆயினும் ஏதோ
ஒன்றினைத் தந்திட
நீயுமே மறுக்கிறாய்
என்பதை எண்ணிட
ஏதாக இருக்கும்
என்றுமே எண்ணி
எப்படி யோசித்தும்
விடையற்ற போது
அதற்கான நேரம்
வரவில்லை என்பது
மட்டுமே எனக்கு
நன்றாகப் புரியுது
எனக்கேத் தெரியாத
ஏதோ ஒருதேவை
ஒன்று உள்ளது
என்பதை எண்ணிட
எதுவாக இருந்தாலும்
எனக்கது நலமாக
இருக்கும் என்பது
மட்டுமே விளங்குது
ஏனென்றால் என்னிலும்
என்னை நன்றாக
புரிந்து வைத்துள்ள
உனக்குள்ள அக்கறை
என்மீது எனக்கு
இல்லாது போனபின்
அதைமட்டும் நம்பி
உன்னிடம் வந்தேன்
ஆகவே எனக்கென
நீயுமே இருக்கையில்
எதற்காக பிறரிடம்
நான்சென்று கேட்பது
மத்திகிரி, 12-8-2020, இரவு, 11.50