365 There is some reason
Love is there
Grace is also there
Along with this
Your companionship is there for me.
Yet I have
Some contention (with you)
And I feel shy
To utter it.
Why should
Even I tell it to you
Why this unnecessary
Drama is essential for you?
You have the responsibility
To heed me
Before I
Make complaints.
Yet I have
Hesitation to tell it
When I come
To share with you
I have the desire
To renounce
And I have your support
To do that
Yet why you
Gave responsibility to me
And to do seva
And to bear this burden?
There are people
To share my burden
Yet I find it
Very heavy
I find it
Difficult to give it up
At the same time
I hesitate to carry it.
I have the right
To share with you
Whatever I
Feel like sharing
Yet you have
More responsibility
To give me
Deliverance from this
There is some
Reason for you
To close this
Case for ever.
But why you hesitate
To tell it
That you have your own time
To do that?
31-12-2015, Mathirigi, 6.00. am.
As I went to ashram for the yearly meeting, my brother came to take care of my mother. He tried his best to persuade her to come and stay with him, at least for few months so that I will have some time to travel or go to the ashram. But my mother refuses to concede. She said, ‘if Kumar (that is my family pet name) wants to go to the ashram, let him go. But I won’t go anywhere.’ She knows that I won’t do that. Sometimes when my mother pester me too much, I will tell Vijay that I want to become a real sannyasi and go away without having any kind of responsibility (including the ashram). And in response with a smile he used to say, ‘so your were not yet become a sannyasi’? With a laugh I tell, ‘soon we will arrange your marriage and handover the responsibility of Patti to her and the ashram to you and will become a real sannyasi.
But God has His own reason and time to do certain things which expect Him to do for us.
So this morning as I got up early, after having my tea, spending some time in prayer, as I was thinking about this, wrote this song.
365 காரணம் இருக்கு
அன்பும் இருக்கு
அருளும் இருக்கு
அத்துடன் எனக்கு
உன்துணையும் இருக்கு
ஆயினும் எனக்கு
உள்ளது வழக்கு
அதைச் சொல்வதற்கு
கூச்சமாய் இருக்கு
நான் எதற்குச்
சொல்லணும் உனக்கு
இந்தநாடகம் எதற்கு
தேவை உனக்கு
முறை யிடுவதற்கு
முன்பாக எனக்குச்
செவி கொடுப்பதற்குக்
கடமை இருக்கு
அதைச் சொல்வதற்கு
நான் வருதவற்குத்
தயக்கம் எனக்குக்
கூடவே இருக்கு
நான் துறப்பதற்கு
எண்ணம் இருக்கு
அதைச் செய்வதற்கு
உன்துணை யிருக்கு
ஆயினும் எதற்கு
அளித்தாய் எனக்கு
பணி செய்வதற்கு
பாரம் சுமப்பதற்கு
தோள் கொடுப்பதற்கு
துணை இருக்கு
ஆயினும் எனக்கு
இதுபாரமாய் இருக்கு
விடு வதற்கு
முடியாமல் இருக்கு
சுமப்பதற்குத்
தயக்கமாய் இருக்கு
என்னவோ எனக்குப்
பட்டதை உனக்குச்
சொல்வதற்கு
உரிமை இருக்கு
ஆயினும் எனக்கு
விடுதலை தருவதற்கு
அதிகம் உனக்குப்
பொறுப்பு இருக்கு
இந்த வழக்கு
முடிப்பதற்கு
ஏனோ உனக்குக்
காரணம் இருக்கு
ஆயினும் அதற்கு
நேரம் இருக்கு
அதைக்கூற உனக்குத்
தயக்கம் எதற்கு?
31-12-2015, மத்திகிரி, காலை, 6.00.