1119 Didn’t give up anything
If you tell me that
I can gain only if I give up
Better tell me
Which one to give up?
Once everything
Belongs to you
What I have to give up
Better tell that to me
Once I thought that
Everything belongs to me
I lived thinking that
My life and my body
One day when
I realized the truth
I attained the thought that
Everything belongs to you
But with much concern
You try to tell me that
I didn’t give up
Completely (me to you)
When I began to
Think after listening you
You began to show me
One by one
You showed me clearly that
I merely lived like a hypocrite
By telling that
Everything things belongs to you
Then you showed
Me the way
How to
Live that kind of life
Then O my Lord
I realized that
I never give up
Anything for you
There is no truth
In that proclamation
What I constantly uttered
Is nothing but mere lip service?
But there is
No alternative to this
Unless you come and
Take away from me deliberately
Not doing that
There is no means
For you to escape
By merely blaming me (alone)
Mathigiri, 16-08-2019, 11.30 p.m.
One important concept in bhakti is the realization that everything belongs to god. So in general a bhakta (like me) always brag by saying ‘no more I but the Lord lives in me’. But in real life I never allow the Lord to live in me or through me. And all the tall claims that I make that everything belongs to god is mere lip service. In fact I never give up anything for the Lord. So when I was meditating about it I wrote this song. At the same time like a typical bhakta like Kanakadasa I also want to blame only god for this. If I didn’t give up anything for the Lord he too is responsible for that. He has to forcefully take things from my life so that I can live a life with the true sense that ‘no more I but’. Kanakadasa says this in different way:
Nandinda (JKS@ p. 74, ‘Whose fault?’)
I’ve come to this earth just because of you
So why hold me responsible?
O God, did I emerge from myself?
O God, whose is the folly, yours or mine?
For nine months in my mother’s womb
you were my protector, and when
I was reluctant to leave her womb
Vishnu, didn’t you goad me out them? I’ve come….
The guide who is helping the blind man along
puts a stick in his hand to assist him
If then he leads him into a deep pit
Leader or blind man—whose mistake was it? I’ve come….
The mother stops fondling her child
the child toddles to the well, peeping down…
If the mother fails to rush up and grab it
Who is to blame—the mother or the kind? I’ve come….
The burden is yours, so is the complaint
Wife, kids, body, mind—all are yours, Lord’
You immerse me in water, you dip me in milk
I’ve surrendered all so why demand a toll from me?
I’ve surrendered all so why demand a toll from me?
I’ve come…
Is it a case of justice or injustice?
Whose folly is this, who will tell me?
Vishnu Kaginele Adikeshava, the love-god’s father,
Protect me pay no mind to my foibles, O Lord.
I’ve to this earth just because of you
so why hold me responsible?
O God did I emerge from myself?—p. 197
@JKS. Janapriya Kanaka Samputa Bangalore: Directorate of Kannada and Culture, 1989.
William J. Jackson. Songs of Three Great South Indian Saints, New Delhi, (1998) Indian Paperbacks 2002.
1119 இழக்கவில்லை
இழந்தால்தான் பெறுவேன்
எனநீ சொன்னால்
எதனை இழப்பது
என்பதச் சொல்லு
எல்லாமே உனதென
ஆனத்தின் பின்னே
இழக்க என்னிடம்
ஏதுண்டு சொல்லு
எல்லாம் எனதென
எண்ணியே இருந்தேன்
என்மேனி என்வாழ்வு
என்றுமே வாழ்ந்தேன்
ஒருநாள் உண்மை
உணர்ந்த பின்னே
எல்லாமே உனத்தென்னும்
எண்ணத்தை அடைந்தேன்
ஆயினும் முழுதாய்
தரவில்லை என்று
ஆதங்கம் கொண்டு
அறிவிக்க முயன்றாய்
நானதைக் கேட்டு
யோசித்த போது
ஒன்வொன்றாய் என்முன்
விவரித்துக் காட்டினாய்
பேருக்கு எல்லாம்
உனதெனச் சொல்லி
போலியாய் வாழ்வதை
எடுத்துமே சொன்னாய்
அத்துடன் அதனை
கைக்கொள்ளும் வழியை
ஐயனே எனக்கு
நீயுமே காட்டினாய்
அதன்பின் ஐயனே
நானுமே உணர்ந்தேன்
உனக்கென இழந்தது
ஒன்றுமே இல்லை
ஓயாமல் நானும்
உதடுகள் தேயவே
சொன்னதில் எந்த
உண்மையும் இல்லை
ஆகவே நீயே
வலியவே வந்து
எடுப்பது அன்றி
மாற்றுமே இல்லை
அதைச் செய்யாமல்
குறைமட்டும் சொல்லி
தப்பிக்க உனக்கு
வழியுமே இல்லை
மத்திகிரி, 16-08-2019, இரவு, 11.30